Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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