Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
