Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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