you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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