I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
