So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
