porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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