WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
