it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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