Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
