He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
