I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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