I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
