Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
