Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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