So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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