we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize