I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
