Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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