I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
