May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
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I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
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i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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