spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
