He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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