I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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