Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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