Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
