Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
