We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
sex in a hospital.. check
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
