We're facebook friends in real life
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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