He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
