Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize