whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
