I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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