I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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