Already got asked if we're dating
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
