so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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