so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
