think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
