His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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