What did we do last night that was yellow?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
