that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
