Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
tell me about the eggs
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
