Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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