i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...