I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
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I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
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After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He? As in you personified your dick?
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