How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
