i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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