no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
