Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
