When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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