I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize