The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
4 words: hood of his car
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
