I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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