I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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