If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
