1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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