I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
