brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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