That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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