just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
