One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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